Shoes Violently Kill People!
In the Movies at least...
With Halloween (too) quickly approaching, I think it’s time to share the origin of my obsession with DANGEROUSLY spiky stilettos. Of course part of it is that I am a flaming queen who believes that my power is portrayed to the world by the height of the heels on my feet (think Samson and Delilah; Samson’s hair represents the heels and flat shoes are the Philistines trying to shave his head).
Another reason, and the most important considering the season, is… horror movies; horror movies in which victims’ lives are violently ended by a “killer heel.” As a kid, I was captivated by the fact that these murderous women (yes, women only because back then, people like me were not portrayed in the public)—who took out stupid straight men with their elegant and mighty footwear.
It completely switched the narrative by making women in heels a force of power instead of the fragile, feminine and submissive gender that was the usual portrayal in Hollywood films back in the days. And what’s more powerful than that? Even if the women were depicted as complete lunatics, I loved every bit of them as soon as they took out a couple of cishet men!
Anyway, enough about me: here are three of my absolute favorites!
Single White Female
Allison Jones places an ad for a new roommate after having broken things off with her cheating fiancé, Sam Rawson. After having met with several potentials, Hedra Carlson shows up while Jones is crying on the bathroom floor. They quickly develop a bond and Carlson moves in. The longer they live together, the more Jones notices that something is off with her new bestie. But it becomes especially apparent when Carlson completely copies Jones’s signature red, bowl cut hairdo, starts stealing her clothes and soon after so much more. Although problematic, this movie is a MUST SEE and the murder scene is intensely amazing.
Lair of the White Worm
Archaeology student, Angus Flint finds a strange serpentine skull in the backyard of an English cottage. After some research, Flint makes the connection between the skull and the “d’Ampton worm,” a giant malevolent worm that was conquered in nearby Stonerich Cavern. The direct ancestor of the worm slayer is the rather charming James d’Ampton, who shares suspicions with Flint that the worm may still be alive under the grounds of their otherwise quaint English hamlet. D’Ampton’s seductive and often leather-bound neighbor, Lady Sylvia Marsh is an immortal, supernatural force subservient to the worm, and her seductive search for a virgin sacrifice brings about all kinds of over-the-top, schizophrenic greatness. Now there’s on scene in this movie that is particularly amazing for us, enSHOEsiasts!
Desperate Living
A hysterical husband-murdering housewife flees with her 400-lb. black maid to Mortville, a mythical kingdom where criminals live free but are mortified daily by an evil queen: wrestler, Mole McHenry who once killed an opponent by gouging out his eye with a high heel and then triumphantly stomping on it like a grape. This John Waters film is INSANE and just what you need for an extra twisted weekend!
Please let me know if you have any additions to this list that I should include in my annual Killer Heels movie night… And on that note: Happy Halloween everyone!